I'M JUST NOT READY ~ I THINK!

Two things happened recently - both of which caused me great angst.  First of all, I lost my mobile phone.  The feeling that went through me when I realised my beloved - if ancient - phone was no longer in my bag was indescribable.  I'm ashamed to say that it sent me into a flat spin. That phone was my lifeline.  It held the numbers of very important people in my life - those numbers I knew I could ask for again, so not too terrible - but it also held the numbers of people who I didn't see or hear from very often, but with whom I still had a connection.  Now, they're gone from my life.  I know some of them have moved house - or emigrated - or something else.
So that's that.

I lost it in the back of a cab.  I phoned the cab company three times to ask them to let me know if it had been found.

No one, and I mean no one would have wanted that phone.  It was so old it ran on paraffin.  They couldn't have cared less.  This is a company that I use very regularly so, to be honest, I was a little disappointed in them. Hey ho. Not much I can do about it now.

Secondly, I decided that A GIRL CALLED RANDOM isn't quite ready for submission, even though I was about to begin sending it out.  I have three lots of three chapters, a synopsis, bio and cover letter, firmly placed in white A4 envelopes with a professional looking printed label on each and lots of kisses and magic spells said over them.  I got each of my dear friends to close their eyes and say a prayer, a wish, a chant, whatever.  And I even got Scarlet to hold them close and make a huge wish for Auntie 'Tine.

But even after all that, my gut was saying, "Valentina, they're not ready, sweetie." And I always listen to my gut, no matter what my head and heart are saying!

I ignored it for a couple of days.  I left the envelopes in a prominent place on my desk to remind me to get off my backside and post them.  But something is holding me back.  They're still on my desk and have been for about a week.  I'm so mad at myself.  It was pure passion and eagerness to get going that made me stick those manuscripts in envelopes with hope in my heart - but now I feel a bit lost.

I wonder what it is that's telling me to hold on and go back over my 'script.  I want to send something that's as close to perfect as I can get when I begin contacting agents.  I'm guessing that deep down, I don't think it's perfect.

Have you ever lost something you really treasure?  And have you ever sent your manuscript out with a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you didn't do everything you could to make it perfect?

I'd love to hear your stories.

Lots of love
Valentina xx

I Miss My Blogging Buddies

I've not posted for a while...or looked at many other blogs.  I'm missing my blogging buddies, but there's nothing to be done.  I'm in the middle of editing and polishing my novel and I just can't stop until I feel satisfied that it's as good as I can make it.


A Girl Called Random has taken over my life - and I don't mind one bit.  It has become very very important to me...important that I don't let Taryn, Ethan, Silent Red, Christina, Jemima Jim, Dan, Gabriel and Thomas down. And of course, not forgetting Taryn's lurcher, the wonderful Ordinary -  very loved by Taryn and a crucial member of the dwellers.

Do your characters feel like members of your family?  Has your evolving story taken over your life?

Lots of love from

Valentina x

Have You Made a Change that Affected Your Whole Life?

I had lunch with a friend recently, who had been going through some difficult times - concerning a relationship.
Of course.

He entranced her with his charm, promised the earth and...to be honest...was nice to look at.

Unfortunately, this did not translate to ~ nice to live with.

He turned into a mind numbing control freak, who was so verbally abusive, it changed my friend's personality from a bubbly, sparkling, beautiful girl, to a pale shadow of herself, doormat.  Her business suffered and is now due to be closed down.  This is a horrible story because it's impossible to help someone who is in a situation like this - even though they need help.

This went on for a couple of years, and then she snapped.

She decided to make a change.  She left him, rented an apartment of her own which is fabulous, because she has such good taste, changed her working conditions and became once again the lovely girl she was.
I can't tell you how happy I am for her.  I know it took massive bravery for her to face the problems she had and make the change.  Only last week a client offered to fly her to France so she could be her PA on fabulous money - one day a week!  She jumped at it.

All of this got me thinking about change.  My friend made one change.  She left an impossible situation to start again and now everything is falling into place.  She is happy and contented once again.

Have you ever made a change that changed your whole life?

Love Valentina x

Don't Give Up the Day Job!

I've been reading a lot lately about the misconception that published authors earn so much from their work, they are in an enviable financial position where they can immediately give up their regular job and concentrate solely on writing.

To earn enough from writing alone, a writer needs quantity as well as quality.  Presumably - and I'm not an expert - the authors who are able to rely on their creative writing alone are a very rare species - which will probably become rarer with the global down turn biting us hard.  We're all affected by it - in my own world I've seen a dropping off of some work.  To be fair, I've also seen an increase in other sectors of my work - people still need advertising, marketing, brochures and web content.  My work is 'steady' so I've got my fingers very firmly crossed.

Would I be happy to give it all up to promote and champion my novel?  You bet I would!

What work do you do in your world?  Would you be happy to give it up for a writing career, or would you think twice before jumping in with both feet?

Lots of love


Valentina x
P.S. A big thank you to Martin Willoughby for my new award, One Lovely Blog.  I'd hoped that I would receive this one, and thanks to wonderful Martin, it has pride of place on my shelf.  Thanks Martin!

First Draft Finished

I'm on a 'First Draft Finished' high at the moment.  I feel I'm able to take a breather for a while and relax a little...not because I think there's no work to do (the total opposite, of course), but because the bones of A Girl Called Random are in place.

This is how I think of the first draft.  It's the skeleton in which I can carefully place the heart to pump energy into the scenes, the lungs to breath life into the characters, the stomach and gut to fight the battles, the muscles to give strength, and the brain to bring everything together in one glorious adventure.  Adding the capacity to love, to empathise, to feel pain and show a real determination to succeed will give A Girl Called Random the ability to dance into a reader's consciousness.

In short, Taryn Random, the main character, must tell her story with the same emotions I felt while writing about her and her wonderful friends.

To complete a novel is such a big thing.  So many gloss over it as if it's the easiest most natural thing to do...sitting for hours in solitude, breathing life into characters and inventing scenes that will keep a reader turning the pages while cheering the heroes, crying during the losses, laughing out loud - longing for more.  Only the other day, someone said to me, "I've got a great story to tell.  It would be easy to get it written and sent off for publication, I'm so sure it's a winner.  Everyone will love it."

I'm proud to say I said nothing.  I simply nodded my head, took a deep, steadying breath...and embarrassingly, felt a few tears threatening.  Then I made a cup of tea.

Good old tea, eh?

How do you feel when you've completed your first draft?  Is it pleasure or pain?

Lots of love
Valentina x

Hello, Blogettes. Lots to Report

I feel as though I've neglected my Blogettes, lately.  I've been living in utter chaos, there's been so much to do.  Feast or famine.  It's like this all the time but I'm not complaining.  More than anything I like to be busy and have lots to do.  I seem to get more done that way.  Strange isn't it?

First of all (and most importantly) I wanted to concentrate on my manuscript.  Over the last month or so, I've refined and polished the first chapter of A Girl Called Random - some 9000 words - and sent Taryn Random and her fellow dwellers into the big wide world - without a chaperone.  Ouch!  It's not easy, is it?  I did all kinds of little rituals - said abracadabra and all manner of other spells over it. (I even kissed the envelope goodbye before posting).  I know.  Pathetic.

I feel it's on a par with wearing lucky knickers on a first date.  No, I don't necessarily want anyone else to see my lucky knickers,  I just want everything to go well.  I wear them to interviews, meetings, flights, you name it.  I'm OK, so they must have worked.  Anyway,I digress.

I want to thank Martin Willoughby for nominating me for VERSATILE BLOGGER.  Thank you so much, Martin.  Martin has been leaving comments on my blog almost since I began last year.
His blog FROM SAND TO GLASS is well worth a visit.

Another piece of good news.  I won Aubrie Dionne 's novel, TUNDRA 37 by commenting on her post.  It's a fascinating read.  Check it out. And check out her blog, linked above.

Recently, I have been tagged twice, by Lora Palmer and Tanya Reimer.  Thank you to both for thinking of me.

Here are my answers to Tanya's tag:~

What is the title of your current WIP.  Tell us about it?  ~ Thanks for this question, Tanya.  I love nothing more than to talk about A Girl Called Random.  Here is the first part of the synopsis:~

The year is 2046, the environment is in crisis and as the human race struggles, the earth has proved

the perfect climate for acid-spraying Nicor – huge winged sea serpents, against which the battle for

survival is relentless. The world's population organise a protest march against political leader's

inaction against the warming, which ends in those deemed trouble makers being herded up by

government soldiers and sent to prison shelters without running water or sanitation. Crops are failing

and farmers are committing suicide, resulting in widespread famine. In this new world order, THAYNE

warriors, previously Government soldiers, are the only survivors with a flourishing farm. Left to

starve in the government compound, the dwellers know they must act or die.

TARYN RANDOM, one of the prisoners, and separated from her parents and brother, ZACK, embarks

on a mission to save her fellow dwellers. At nineteen, Taryn is no ordinary teenager. Known as 'the

brave one' she is an Olympic archer who is feisty and strong, and determined to find her family.

This is the premise but there is so much more. I've had a great time writing A Girl Called Random.  I've loved every minute getting to know Taryn and Ethan, Jemima Jim, Christina and Silent Red and the other Dwellers.  I've laughed with them, cried with them, especially when Erato is killed by a Nicor.  I found that part really hard to write, but I'm proud of what I've achieved with the story.  I'm so close to finishing now, and I'm looking forward to editing it. I know lots of you don't enjoy that process, but I love it.  I hope to see A Girl Called Random on the shelves one day.  It would be so great.

When did you start blogging and why? ~  I started last year because I wanted to connect with other writers and learn about their experiences.

If you could do anything tomorrow, what would you do? ~  I'd take my agent out to lunch.  And I will.  When I find one.

Describe your happy place. ~ That's easy.  Ashridge Park in Hertfordshire.  It's a stunning woodland that you can get really lost in.  I love it best when it snows.  It's just like Narnia.  Lily and I have a wonderful time there.  She drags me around for hours. Why?  Because she can.

What was your first happy memory? ~  That would be on our small poultry farm in Hampshire.  I was five but honestly, I can remember it like yesterday.  We had rabbits and guinea pigs and a dog called Bruce.  And loads of chickens (obviously).  I had a pet one called Hoppy, because it had a limp.  

What was the scariest thing you've ever done? ~  Getting a divorce.  Starting again was even scarier.

What is the funniest thing you did today? ~  Oh yes, something really funny horrible happened today.        I got locked in my office and had to call the Fire Brigade to get me out.  The mechanism in the door handle had broken.  The office window was too high up for me to climb out of and everyone was either at work or too far away to be able to help.  I'm fairly claustrophobic.  To me, this was like being stuck in a lift.  What can a girl do?  I called the Fire Brigade who weren't happy when Lily took exception to them coming into my house. And there was I, hunting for a way to answer the question.  I felt really dim...but our wonderful Fire Brigade helped me out of a tight spot. Tut, why does it always happen to me?

What is the strangest place you've ever got an idea for a story? ~  I got the idea for A Girl Called Random when I was walking through our local mall and thought that everyone looked like a character from Mad Max.  All life was there.

Where do you write? ~  Mostly, I write in a little room overlooking my garden. (The one I got stuck in.)  I watch the seasons change and Lily chasing ducks out of the pond.  I write notes where ever I am.

If you just won a ticket to anywhere in the world and you had to take me, where would you take me and why? ~  Tanya, I would take you to Africa. I would so love to go and I think we'd have a great time.  We could camp in one of those huge, glamorous tents and listen to the sounds of the wild life.  We could go on Safari and watch the animals in their natural habitat. How fabulous would that be? We could drink cocktails by our private pool, have an outdoor massage and beauty treatments. Oh, I'm there already. Hope you'll keep me company!

I enjoyed that!  It's my turn to tag now, so watch out Blogettes.  You might be it!

Lots of love 

Valentina x

The Molly Cochran Interview ~ New York Times Best Selling Author

Molly and Lucy

Well, Blogettes, as you all know, the New York Times Best Selling Author, Molly Cochran has agreed to an interview about her publishing journey and her new release, 'Legacy', a YA novel in the paranormal genre.  Molly is a person of many facets.  Her life experiences are rich and fascinating - an undeniable factor in the broad range and depth of her writing.

VH ~ Molly, thanks so much for giving up your writing time to be interviewed for 'Letters from Valentina Hepburn.'
MC ~ Thank you, Valentina.  I'm so happy to share my thoughts with your readers.


VH ~ When did you first realise that writing was your passion?
MC ~ I was twelve years old.  I'd just read Anne Frank's DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL.  It was a revelation, the idea that this long-dead person had written this when she was my age and had felt the same things I was feeling, even though her life and circumstances had been so different from mine.  I started to write a diary of my own that day, with each entry addressed to "Dear Anne".  In it, I pretended I was talking to her.


VH ~ How long does it take for you to complete a book?
MC ~ Usually a year or two, although I wrote LEGACY in six months.  I'd just moved back to Pennsylvania from Tennessee, and didn't have a lot of social life to interfere with work.


VH ~ Why do you now write for the YA paranormal/romance genre when you have previously written in other genres?
MC ~ I honestly didn't write LEGACY as a YA.  The story just called for a young protagonist.  It was my agent,  Lucienne Diver, who insisted on pitching it as a teen novel.  And so I suddenly find myself in a whole new world - new writers, new editors, new readers.  The original title of the book was WONDERLAND, and this is exactly how I feel.  Molly in Wonderland.


VH ~ We know the path to publication can often be a difficult one.  Did you learn things about yourself as a writer on that journey?
MC ~ I started out as a writer-for-hire and ghostwriter for other writers, which I believe is an excellent way to get started, if your ego can stand it.  You build your art on a solid foundation of technique that way.  But my first major novel, GRANDMASTER (co-written with Warren Murphy) was rejected 40 times before one publisher said yes.  That was devastating at the time, but I learned an important thing:It only takes one YES to cancel out all the NOs.


VH ~ Where does the inspiration for your stories come from?
MC ~ Everywhere.  Things I read.  Things I hear.  The other week I heard George Takei's famous "You Are A Douchebag" speech which he gave in response to some red-neck who'd said that gay teenagers ought to kill themselves, and that made me think about young people who want to die. I know I did, and although at the time I thought I was all alone with those terrible thoughts, I believe now that lots of teenagers are overwhelmed by the problems in their lives.  So I wrote an outline for a novel about a girl who dies in a car wreck and finds the only living person she can communicate with is the class geek, and only because he tried to kill himself.  I don't know if any publisher would be interested in an exploration of death - not very-upbeat - but I'd like to write it someday.


VH ~ Which of the books you've written would you say was your favourite?
MC ~ THE TEMPLE DOGS.  It's about a Japanese-American guy who goes to the Yakuza - traditional Japanese gangsters--to seek revenge for a crime against his family.  Among the people who help him are a Sumo wrestler, a swordsman, and a karate expert.  I loved that book.  Unfortunately, only 7,000 copies were printed, so it's a rarity, almost impossible to find these days.  I like THE FOREVER KING, too, about the reincarnation of King Arthur as a 10 year old boy in Chicago.  That one did well.


VH ~ Is it possible to pick one thing that you think makes an ordinary story, a great one?
MC ~ The writing.  People place so much emphasis on plot, but plot is just the bones of a story.  The reason THE HUNGER GAMES trilogy is so good isn't just because the author came up with this high-concept idea.  It's the writing that makes the reader cheer for Katniss and cry for Peeta.


VH ~ Your new release is LEGACY, where Katy is sent by her father to Whitfield, Massachusetts, a town where her mother took her own life under mysterious circumstances.  You moved around a lot as a child.  Do you think those experiences motivated you to write about Katy and the way she felt?
MC ~ Not only moved around a lot (17 homes before I went to college) but I lived apart from my parents quite a bit.  I do know what it feels like to be a stranger in a strange land.  Oddly, though, I don't mind it.  I like being new, unlike Katy.


VH ~ You included recipes in LEGACY which I think is fantastic.  Do you love to cook?
MC ~ Cooking is my true passion!  My favorite job in life, besides writing books, was working in a magazine's test kitchen.  I loved it.  Now I cook for therapy.  I get stressed, I bake a souffle.


VH ~ You have an unpolished, unpublished manuscript on your website, which is fascinating and a really brave thing for a published author to do.  Why are you happy to allow your followers to read 'The Pagan Trailer Park'?  Is this how we get to know the real Molly Cochran?
MC ~ That's what I was hoping.  My agent hates that book so much that she won't represent it, so I guess it's substandard in a lot of ways - not to mention a first draft - but I still like it.  It's an experiment with using a lot of characters (18 actually) as an emsemble.  And it explores a theme I'm obsessed with at the moment, which is about belonging and family, and what makes a family.  I don't think that everybody necessarily belongs to the family they were born into.  Anyway, I plan to rewrite that book one day and send it out, since I doubt if very many people are reading it on my site.


VH ~ What's the best piece of advice you could give to aspiring writers reading this interview?
MC ~ That would be to write.  That's the only way to tell if you're really a writer or not.  Lots of people CAN write - that is, they're good with words and please their instructors and get A's on their papers - but that doesn't mean anything.  A writer MUST write, even if it's secretly or ashamedly.  A writer writes to get through life.  A writer doesn't care if their work earns a lot of money or makes them famous.  Back when I was writing diaries to Anne Frank, I asked myself how badly I wanted to be a writer.  What if nothing I ever wrote was ever published?  What if no one liked anything I produced? What if I became a laughing-stock, spending my life working at MacDonald's while churning out horrible manuscripts?  Would I still choose to be a writer?  When I could answer "yes" to those questions, I knew.


VH ~ I understand that you're currently outlining two more novels.  Can we take a sneaky peak?
MC ~ The death thing is one of them.  The other is an outline for a future Katy book.  Simon & Schuster already bought the sequel to LEGACY, which I've titled POISON, (in which Katy receives a horrible 'gift' that turns her into a killer), and I'm currently about halfway through what I hope will be #3 (I'm calling this SEDUCTION - Katy goes to Paris and encounters some gorgeous but dangerous witches).  The outline of which you speak (how did you find out about these, anyway?) is for #4 in what I sincerely hope will be the LEGACY series.  I'll call this one JUICE.  it's about perfume.  I also have an outline for a mystery I'm calling "Queen of the Home School Prom".  It's a variation on the Cinderella story.  I just think it's a good idea to have projects in reserve, so I have a lot of them.


VH ~ What kind of books do you like to read, and who are your favourite authors?
MC ~I guess my favorite books are Ann Rice's CRY TO HEAVEN, Ruumer Godden's IN THIS HOUSE OF BREDE,  Joanne Harris' CHOCOLAT, and Vladimir Nabokov's LOLITA.  I like WATER FOR ELEPHANTS, too. and THE HELP, which everyone has read.  As for YA, I love Allison Noel, Ally Condie, Shannon Delaney, and of course Suzanne Collins.


VH ~ Can you tell us about the challenges you faced when getting your first book published?
MC ~Well, I guess that would be GRANDMASTER, since the (16) previous books were anonymous.  It was funny - after all those rejections, it became an international best seller.  I once saw a man in an airport reading it, and I ran up to him shouting "Hey, I wrote that!" and he kind of slid away from me nervously, as if I were a deranged person.  I guess he didn't believe me.  Anyway, suddenly people who hadn't bothered to return my phone calls were inviting me to dinner, as if I'd instantly become a worthwhile person.  I didn't like it.  Success by itself isn't all that great.  Working is better.


VH ~ Is there anything you would have done differently on the road to being published?
MC ~ No. Well, I've always been published, since I started out as a ghostwriter, so that wasn't the holy grail for me.  But after I got divorced, I was so freaked out that I stopped writing for a few years.  That's YEARS.  That is I wrote, but only about myself.  I was trying to think myself through my despair and confusion.  But in retrospect, I should have tried to channel that wild, terrible energy into books.  I guess I gave up, which is never a good idea.  But I came back from it, and anyone out there who knows what it's like to lose yourself to sorrow ought to know that you CAN come back.  The talent doesn't leave you.  You leave it.  It's always waiting, like a loyal dog.


VH ~ You're represented by The Knight Literary Agency.  How long did it take you to find representation?
MC ~ Because of my background - I worked in publishing in New York, which is how I got my ghosting/writing-for-hire jobs - finding agents wasn't a big issue.  However, finding agents that I like and trusted was.  I've had mean agents, ineffectual agents, agents who didn't think I was important enough to work on, agents who almost never showed up for work, agents who would only speak to my husband...I could go on and on.  It's been the bane of my life, trying to find someone who believes in me and wants me to succeed.  I think I've found that person, though, in Lucienne.  We're still relatively new to each other, but I know she works very hard on my behalf, and I feel she wants the best for me.  At least I hope so.


VH ~ Can you tell us the title of the book that holds an everlasting resonance for you?
MC ~ Anne Frank's Diary.  Hands down.  That book changed my life.  I wish there were a way I could tell her how much her struggle meant to me, to so many people.  Maybe when I die I can see her and say 'thank you.'


Visit Molly's website and read the bonus book,  'The Pagan Trailer Park'
I hope you enjoyed the interview with Molly. Her new release 'Legacy' is out now and can be obtained from Amazon.


Love Valentina x
P.S. ~ Some questions for Molly, just for fun:~ 
The prize possession you value above all others ~ My kitty cat ring.  It has an elastic band and a dopey cat face.  I don't remember where or how I got it, but I love it.
The unqualified regret you wish you could amend ~ Not writing after my divorce.  I should have known that writing was my salvation, and would always be my way out of the darkness.
The way you would spend your fantasy 24 hours with no travel restrictions ~ Sorry, nothing exotic.  I'd go to Key West.  I love it there.
The temptation you wish you could resist ~ Cake.  Arggh!! I love cake!!
The pet hate that makes your hackles rise ~ Oh, God.  So many.  People who say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome." Rude IT people.  Insurance.  Real Housewives. People who don't read.  Spoiled children. Fake whipped cream.  Holy Rollers.  Controlling people.  That's the worst, controlling people.  Keep away, O bossy ones!
The film you can watch time and time again ~  Midnight in Paris (Actually, I've only seen it twice, but I bought it so that I can see it all the time). The Right Stuff.  The Good Shepherd.  Cabaret.  The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (please don't call me a dork for that).  The Sword in the Stone.
The piece of wisdom you'd pass on to a child ~ Do what you love to do.
The treasured item you lost and wish you could have again ~ Nothing.  I've moved so often - close to 50 times, I think - and been in two fires, so I've pretty much lost everything at least once.  I could even lose my cat ring without many tears.  It's not stuff that matters.  It's what's in your mind.
The unending quest that drives you on ~ Figuring out who I am.
The song that means most to you ~ Duffy's DISTANT DREAMER
The happiest moment you will cherish for ever ~ Once when my son was very young, maybe four, we were together in the car and he said, "Let's turn the radio up really loud, so that our music will spill out onto the road."
The philosophy that underpins your life ~  The same thing I would tell that hypothetical child from an earlier question:Do what you love.  Life is too short.  Don't spend it waiting.
The poem that touches your soul ~ 

AFTER A WHILE by Veronica S. Shoffstall

After a while you learn

The subtle difference between

Holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn

That love doesn't mean leaning

And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn

That kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises

And you begin to accept your defeats

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child

And you learn

To build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow's ground is

Too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down

In mid-flight.

After a while you learn

That even sunshine burns

If you get too much

So you plant your own garden

And decorate your own soul

Instead of waiting for someone

To bring you flowers

And you learn that you really can endure

You really are strong

You really do have worth

And you learn

And you learn

With every goodbye, you learn...